accept it.

after bursting into tears in my Spanish class,
my teacher and i spent some time together after class.
we talked about her past, about mine, about love and life.
about accepting things as they are.

& then she said something that will stick with me forever.
"...they won't love you the way you want them to. they may never love you at all. you deserve better than that, tell yourself that everyday. but also tell yourself that that's something you can't change. it's not until you accept that, not until you understand that, that you can heal from what's been done to you."

i live in a family of do-ers.
a family where love is expressed through actions.

i'm a girl of words.
words are how i show love.
& words are how i feel hatred.

they'll probably never know that i remember every word they've said.
every word they've yelled in anger.
& every tear i've shed from what they haven't said.

but i suppose i have to learn to accept it.
they may never love me the way i wish they would.
i may never hear the words i hoped i would.
but if i keep seeking that, i'll always feel unloved.
i have to understand the differences between us, and accept them.
& only then can i begin to heal.
& i think i'm finally understanding that.

however,
to all the moms and dads out there.
to all the sisters and brothers.
to all the best friends and boyfriends.
please.
tell your loved ones just how much you love them.
tell them why you love them.
tell them often.
you never know how much words, or the lack of them, could hurt someone.

all my love...